Here we are with another year in the books. To practice both presence and reflection, this week’s article is a collection of things I’ve learned this year. It’s easy for me to lose sight of everything that has helped me grow when I’m in a constant state of doing, so now is a good time to remind myself of the progress I’ve made. I’m also looking toward 2023 and identifying my focus and intention. I don’t subscribe to specific goals or resolutions for the new year because I know myself well enough to know they won’t last (and, I’m not the only who can’t do it - studies have shown about 80% of resolutions fail by February). So, I pick a focus phrase for the year and use that to guide and ground me.
Things I’ve learned this year
Health is a journey, not a destination
I’ve been heavily focused on healing my body from years of unaddressed autoimmune disease (I write about it here) and 2023 will be my third year of lifestyle and diet changes to keep my healing going. When I committed to changing my diet for my health, I thought there would be a magical end point where I was cured and I could revert to my previous behaviors without consequence. Living with health at the center of all of my choices means that there’s no “going back to normal” because I’m creating my own normal each day. And, progress isn’t about going back, it’s about going forward. Breaking the cycle of stress—>autoimmune flair—>total misery means staying on this new path and realizing that this is now my journey and I’m not interested in it ending.
Living with health at the center of all of my choices means that there’s no “going back to normal” because I’m creating my own normal each day.
My critical inner voices are only trying to help
I have been working with a wonderful leadership coach this year and she taught me that the voices I used to consider inner saboteurs are actually popping up to protect me from something. It has helped me to stop and listen to myself with patience and kindness instead of ridicule and judge myself. Now, when I have moments of being critical of myself, feeling inadequate, or being convinced that I’m an imposter, I know that I’m trying to spare myself feelings of failure and embarrassment in new situations. When I take a moment to let myself feel and understand my own fears, they quiet down and I can move forward. The key is to not let these inner voices sit in the driver’s seat. They’re merely passengers who might have a good point, or who might be doing some very unnecessary backseat driving. Either way, listening without judgement has proven to be the best way to manage them.
When I take a moment to let myself feel and understand my own fears, they quiet down and I can move forward.
Abandoning perfectionism leads to action
I took a wonderful writing course this year called Write of Passage. It taught me many things, one of which was to abandon perfectionism in favor of taking action. I’ve loved writing ever since I was a little girl (I authored 2 “novels” in 5th grade). I minored in writing in college and I have a consistent journaling practice. One thing I haven’t been good at is publishing what I write. Write of Passage encouraged us to publish when we feel like something is 80% of the way there. This challenged my penchant for perfection. Thanks to that push, this newsletter is alive. And, I’m not toiling over editing it to death. I’m completely okay with good enough and I’m finding satisfaction in simply doing the work instead of perfecting the work.
I’m completely okay with good enough and I’m finding satisfaction in simply doing the work instead of perfecting the work.
Sharing my dreams brings them to life
Over the past couple of years, my life has drastically changed for the better since working with coaches. It awakened a dream in me that I would love to be able to help people in the same way and I’m working on launching a coaching practice. By simply telling friends, family, and colleagues about it, I’ve already gotten two clients. In the past, I wouldn’t have been comfortable sharing such a dream without having a buttoned up plan, perfect credentials, and a well-designed website. But, because I’m abandoning perfectionism, I’m talking about it anyway. By stating my dreams out loud and trusting the people around me with them I’m attracting what I need to keep running toward my goal.
By stating my dreams out loud and trusting the people around me with them I’m attracting what I need to keep running toward my goal.
Focus for 2023
My focus phrase this year was: You are worth the effort. It led me to investing in myself in ways I would have never given myself permission to do had I not established that focus phrase. And, because I repeated it to myself so frequently, it’s now a part of me.
For 2023, my focus phrase is: Trust the process. As I embark on trying new things, pushing myself out of my comfort zone, and continuing to explore uncharted territory, I’m focused on trust in myself and the world around me. I’m excited to root myself in this phrase and see what it teaches me.
I’m wishing you all a happy and prosperous new year full of creativity, abundance, purpose, and ease.